Friday, February 29, 2008
Chicago
Thursday, February 28, 2008
America's Next Top Model Season 10
Monday, February 25, 2008
Tradewinds Legends
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Rocket Bowl
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Ukai Japanese Steakhouse
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Yahtzee Texas Hold 'Em
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Flavor of Love 3
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Home Sweet Home
Monday, February 18, 2008
Fab Fashion
Friday, February 15, 2008
Stupidity
Stupidity
I was dressed in a completely inappropriate shade of pink when I walked into the bar that night. I didn’t care though; I was desperate to know what happened in the last hours of my true love’s life. As I walked through the doors, the baby growing in my stomach kicked hard, “I know, I know, no drinking, but I have to know what happened to your daddy. I have to know if it really was my fault, my fault you’ll grow up without a daddy.”
The bartender recognized me from the pictures Quinn showed him, “You’re Mae right?”
“Yeah, could I get a juice and some answers, please?”
As he poured the juice for me he said, “I’m Jake, what can I do for you?”
“I need to know what happened the night Quinn died, for me and the baby,” I answered, tears welling in my eyes. Quinn was the love of my life. We had been dating for three years. And just six months ago, he asked me to marry him. I don’t know how I’m going to live without him, how I’m going to raise this baby without him.
“I’m not sure I feel comfortable talking about this with you. He was really distraught and the things he said, they were well, not at all nice and I don’t want you to think that his death was your fault; I don’t want you to lose the baby from the distress this might cause. Are you really sure you want to know?”
He looked at me like I wasn’t strong enough, like he knew Quinn’s death was completely my fault. I already knew that though, there was no other reason Quinn would have been at that place, at that time, he was running from me, from my betrayal, it’s all my fault he’s dead. “I can handle it, I already know it’s my fault, I know, I know he was running from me, just tell me what he said, what he did and I’ll be on my way.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he said pulling up a chair next to me. “That night Quinn came here because, because he had just found you asleep in another guy’s arms. Because he thought that you were cheating on him. Because that night was the night he found out you were pregnant, and he thought the baby was this other guy’s. He couldn’t think of any other reason you could be five months pregnant and not tell him. If the baby was his, he said you would never have kept it from him. That night he drank and drank. I tried to talk him into letting me drive him home, but he knocked me out and took off before I could stop him.”
I couldn’t stop the tears as they flowed down my face. The baby was moving and kicking, I think he was punishing me, punishing me for being responsible for his daddy’s death. I think Jake could tell that he was right, that I wasn’t strong enough to hear all of that; he put his arm around me and said, “It’s not your fault, it really isn’t. He was determined to be stupid that night. I tried to talk to him, to reason with him. I told him to talk to you, that there had to be extenuating circumstances, but he just wouldn’t listen to me. You know how hard headed, pig headed Quinn could be.”
“I know, but that doesn’t make it any less my fault. That guy, Gabe, I was tutoring him. We got really close, I care about him, love him even, but not like I love Quinn. For Quinn to think that I would ever do that, that this baby is someone else’s, that’s what hurts more than anything. That he didn’t trust me, after everything we’ve been through, that he could think that of me,” I said as the tears started to flow again.
That really was the hardest thing for me, to know that Quinn thought that of me. I loved him more than anything in the world, and he thought I could cheat on him. That I could cheat with someone I had known for less than a year. Someone who was the complete opposite of him. Life really couldn’t have gotten much worse, to have lost Quinn because of my stupidity. I say life couldn’t have gotten much worse, but the problem was, it had gotten worse. The person driving the car that was in the accident with Quinn’s motorcycle, that person died too, so not only did my stupidity cause the death of the love of my life, but the person in the other car. A person who I knew all too well. A person who loved me, who knew me possibly better than I knew myself. A person who wouldn’t have been in that car if it weren’t for me. A person who went looking for Quinn, who went looking for Quinn as a favor for me. A person whose death now makes me understand how my baby is going to feel for the rest of his life. That person was my dad. How am I supposed to go on living after that?
All writing is property of author and cannot be used unless written permission is given.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Big Brother 9
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Coincidence?
Coincidence?
There she was, Amy Gerstein, over by the pool, kissing my father. Mom and Dad divorced three years ago, but I never stopped hoping that they would some day get back together, even after my mom married Tom, a desperately boring plumber from the wrong side of the tracks, if you ask me. I can’t believe she left Dad for him. Dad started dating Amy about six months ago, and things have been great ever since. She has made my dad the happiest he has ever been and in turn made me very happy too. Not many girls can say this, but Dad is one of my best friends. When I was in elementary school, he coached my little league softball and soccer teams. We spent all of our free time together. Fishing, watching the stars, reading to each other; he was my first crush. I know it sounds gross, but a lot of my friends were that way, and don’t they always say that girls grow up to marry someone just like their dad. I know I did.
We attended the same high school, but didn’t really get to know each other until Mom’s wedding, he was my cousin’s date. We were drinking champagne. I was drinking a lot to get over my mom marrying Tom and he just came over and started talking. We reminisced about high school, how being in the band made him less than desirable for a cheerleader like me, how he had always had a crush on me, but never had the nerve to talk to me, how of all the people in the band, this one, this guy had always sort of fascinated me, because he reminded me so much of my dad, shy and self-conscious, cute in his own way and really smart. That night was the beginning of a new life for me.
The only problem was, I was terrified to marry Greg because I didn’t know what had broken up my parent’s marriage and I really didn’t want that to happen to me. I had to ask them. I had to confront my parents to know it wasn’t me who caused the problems. With all the time my dad spent with me, did my mom feel abandoned, left out? Did she hate me for stealing my dad away from her? Nope. What a relief it was to know that, but it was the stupidest thing, the last time they saw a movie together, Dad didn’t buy her Rolos. They didn’t have any, but somehow that was it, she didn’t care. She thought he should have gone to the gas station to get her some if he had to, but their whole divorce over Rolos, crazy. In my mind, I knew that wasn’t really the reason, that there was more behind the Rolos, that it really was her feeling left out, like he loved me more than he loved her, but I accepted the Rolos because marrying Greg was a dream come true for me, and I wasn’t about to let my parent’s divorce ruin my happiness.
We married in this intimate little ceremony in Dad’s backyard. We had some of our high school friends there, a few of my cheerleader friends, a few of his band friends and our families. That’s when Dad and Amy met. She was the band director at our high school. They didn’t start dating for about a year after the wedding, but they had cultivated a real friendship during that time. Dad even asked Greg and me if it was okay for him to date her, of course we were both ecstatic. Amy was like a second mother to Greg, so them dating was perfect. That day by the pool was the day Dad asked Amy to marry him. Of course, she said, “Yes.”
And that brings us to now, me standing here in a beautiful green dress, Greg in a tux across from me, and Dad, watching with tear-filled eyes as his bride walks toward him, radiant in her wedding dress, smiling, happy. Isn’t it amazing how much life can change for the better even through something as horrible as Mom marrying Tom?
All writing is property of author and cannot be used unless written permission is given.Survivor: Micronesia
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Big City Adventures - Sydney
On another subject, isn't my dog so cute?